What is Crock, Inc.?

If you answered “The Champions of the World” then you are correct. But we are also much more than that.

Founded in 1989 by a group of entrepreneurial high-school students (punk-asses) from small-town USA, Crock has gone through some changes. As the founders went their separate ways after high school, the "business" went dormant for a few years. In Early 2001, it was revived in a weekly emailed subscription newsletter. The newsletter was cancelled by the Department of Mass Email Permitting and Documentation for Non-existent Corporations (DMEPDNEC).

Sharon, who was then in charge of Permits and Documentation, evidentially filed the application under a company called "Bean Crock, Inc.". Steak n' Shake pitched a Holy Living' fit about it and "raised a stink" with the DMEPDNEC, who then shut us down. But we're back!! This time we've filed the paperwork properly and Sharon (now working in the mail room) brought me the permit for 'Blogging by a Non-existent Corporation' on February 15th, 2008. In Your Face Governmental Regulating Body!!

Crock, Inc. is a fictitious Corporation created for the sole purpose of being an outlet for a particular style of ridiculousness, or ridiculocity, as the case may be. The ridiculi could, at times, be described as “humor”, possibly wrapped in “satire”, potentially set on fire and perhaps launched headlong through the boardroom of any true and existing major corporation on earth.

You see, the product that Crock, Inc. would provide, if it were indeed a real corporation, is…….well, nothing. But, Crock would provide a service. That much is for sure. This service would be…..taking a good look at today’s corporate world and making fun of it until it cries for it’s mommy. We call it “Corporate Horror”. I’m not suggesting that major corporate executives would tremble in their loafers at the likes of us. They won't. This is why our fake business has a fake business plan.

Without going into great detail, I can tell you that this plan involves the infiltration of major corporations, and doing one or both of the following:

1) Sucking the life out of them by using up their most valuable resource; their time.
2) Injecting a spark of liveliness and cheer into their downtrodden staff.

You see, Crock will target Mr. Nine-to-fiver while he sits at his cubicle. He will no longer need to play minesweeper, or surf MySpace with the sound turned off, or take a power nap with his chin in has hands so it looks like he’s studying an important report. He can now proudly read over his daily Crock with a smile on his face. The only side effect could be periodical outbursts of "WTF?!?". He’ll leave his cube with a spring in his step and whistle his way to the coffee maker. He will infect his co-workers with is upbeat attitude. They’ll ask him why he’s in such a good mood. He’ll say, “CROCK”. Thus begins the chain reaction that will shift company resources from doing nothing, to working for Crock, Inc. while getting paid from the other guys.