E. Coli De Gallo - The Taste of Summer

First, some people got sick. It must have been something they ate. Then, the piss-poor investigation began and ended with the conclusion: Someone put E-Coli in the Tomatoes (actually salmonella, but it doesn't sound as good).

Although saddened by the suffering of the individuals who were sickened, I was not upset when tomatoes were found guilty. I don't really care for them. When I pulled up to the drive up at Burger King and saw the sign explaining why there would be no tomato on any Whoppers or anything else, I was not concerned. I was going to tell them to "Hold the tomato" anyway.

I think we would all get along just fine without these fruits-maybe-vegetables-but-probably-fruits. Other than maybe the Italians. Hey Guys! What about a nice cream sauce? A white wine reduction? My friend Alfredo? Screw the red sauce dudes. We can do without.

Oh, and the Mexicans. God help us all if salsa is not available. I do enjoy tomato-based enchilada sauce, but I can live with Queso instead. However, I would appreciate it if you kindly keep your malevolent bacteria away from the jalapenos. I love those things.

That being said, wouldn't you know it? The investigation is re-opened. It seems people are still getting sick. And guess what? Like I said before, it must have been something they ate. So now the FDA or the CDC or the PTA or whatever is looking into foods commonly paired with tomatoes. They mentioned cilantro, which did not worry me. But then came the stupid part. It might be the Jalapenos! The Horror!!

I'm stockpiling my spicy green friends now before they get yanked.