While we remain very proud of our associates who have the courage to overcome their lack of sight each and every day, we must form a policy now before this particular situation gets any worse.
You are undoubtedly familiar with our policy on guide dogs in the workplace. This policy will remain unchanged until someone is maimed by one of these gentle creatures. However, effective today, we will not allow seeing eye Llamas or Guide Alpacas on Crock, Inc. Property. These beasts are unpredictable at best. Last week a Llama ate Lyle's pleather interior out of his Buick. (I guess he still hasn't gotten the power windows fixed). Beatrice had her cane gnawed in two by an alpaca Tuesday. Perhaps worst of all, Flanksham finally surfaced and walked in on Wednesday and a llama spit some junk in his eye. He was promptly taken away by med-evac and has not been heard from since. This has to stop or someone could be killed.
The ban is immediate and applies to all New World Camelids. Not only Llamas and Alpacas, although these are the worst offenders, but guanacos, and vicunas are banned as well. The reasons are obvious. Click here.
Camels are acceptable. (That last sentence has never been written before, anywhere, ever).
2 comments:
Whew, thank goodness! I was worried a bit where this was going, but since nothing was said my assumption is that my hearing ear bat will still be welcomed in the workplace. If not, I might have to go crockal. Besides, my relationship with the bat is a win-win, I am his seeing eye human and he my hearing ear bat. My apologies to Roger though, I didn't know that last bast was rabid, please seek help, your drooling and foaming is causing extra work for janitor Joel Bob.
Speaking of hearing, the other night I had a dream, a revelation (if you will) and I was partying in the new bar at the former Stuckey's location. Playing on the jukebox was an old familiar tune "Listen to Beer". Being hard of hearing as I was though, I took it to heart and kept drinking and drinking waiting on the beer to say something. On my last beer I held it up to my ear and finally, I heard a faint swooshing sound along with a hint of fizz. After that I home went the road down. Crap! I think there was a moral to this story, what was it?
I wonder if they still allow people who have pigs for feet?...Well...just one pig for one foot.
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