Monday, November 17, 2014

Missed Opportunities are Dumb

Maybe you didn't answer the phone when a buddy called with tickets to the big game, and by the time you called him back he had given them to that asshole Chad.

Maybe you had a great idea but didn't act on it and later you discovered that some other smart son of a bitch went ahead and invented the thing you though of first, and he is making a bunch of cash from it.

Perhaps you were not chosen for a job that you really wanted just because the other guy didn't talk with a fake British accent in the interview, and you did.

Did you have a crush on that girl in school but never talked to her only to later find out she was totally interested in you and that she is Scarlett Johansson?

I doubt if any of these ever happened to you.  But I'm sure you've had your fair share of missed opportunities. That's dumb.  It's also unavoidable.  I'm not saying you couldn't have captured some opportunities that you missed.  Not at all.  You could have seized those moments.  You could have answered that phone call or built that idea but you never could have dated Scarlett Johansson.  Ever.

It would not be possible to go through life taking advantage of every opportunity presented to you.  You are bound to miss a few.  You'll miss some and realize it immediately, like when an object is hurtling towards you head and you want to duck, but you're too slow.  You'll miss others that you will never know you've missed, like when you take a walk on a beach and step right over buried treasure. 

Missed opportunities can be frustrating to say the least.  I've explained how common and unavoidable they are, but that doesn't mean I accept it.  In fact, I am super pissed about the one I missed.

My friend Patrick posted his gas grill for sale on Facebook today . $50. Some psycho beast named Leah spoke for it before I even saw the post.  What was she doing? Sitting there waiting for him to post it?  Does she not have a job or a hobby or friends?  Who has time to watch Patrick's profile all day every day until he finally sells the damn grill?  He never uses it. It's a nice one . I wanted it. I've wanted it for over a year.  Here was my chance, but there comes Leah to "snatch" it away from me.  I hope it ruins her barbecue every weekend.  I hope it catches on fire and falls in her swimming pool.  Or better yet, I hope she is not smart enough to turn it on. Please, no one help her.  Let her sit there and know that she bought a $50 stainless steel lawn ornament. I hope she is too slow to duck when this object hurtles toward her head.  Too far? I should take this opportunity to shut up now.