Sunday, November 29, 2009

The New Undisputed Leader in Superiority

The results are in and Crock, Inc. is now the best at being the best.

In last week's poll of twenty-seven citizens of earth, thirty-six of them chose Crock, Inc. as the company that comes to mind when they think of Superiority. It doesn't get much better than that. Last year, we fell just short in the same poll when all twenty-seven surveyed said that someone other than Crock, Inc. came to mind, making us the 2nd most superior company in the universe.

This year, several factors may have played a role in giving us the undeniable edge. The poor state of the global economic situation has eliminated fourteen of our non-competitors. Plus, with so many unemployed in the U.S., people are starting to see the value of a non-existent corporation like Crock, Inc. Since we now employ over six people for every none on our payroll, the discrepancies between the number of votes and the number of people surveyed is easily explainable.

Now that we are not only the best ever because we claim such as fact, such is now actually a fictitious fact. (This concept of fictitious fact has been discussed in detail and is crucial in understanding the success of Crock,Inc., see the end of this post)(Notice how we link to ourselves here...another sure sign that we are indeed the best). With our new-found gloat material, we are planning several new marketing endeavors to assure that everyone knows that we know we are more superior than the other superior companies out there (or in here). It is also important to note that, in some cases, superiority is measured on a comparative scale based on actual performance in a given market segment. It goes without saying that it is much easier to become sort-of superior in a particular industry than it is to become completely and totally 100% dominatingly superior at being superior. This is in fact what Crock,Inc. has done....and we couldn't have done it without me. That is why I want to take the time now in this forum to thank myself for all of my hard work and imagination in discovering the potential of this corporation to rise to level at which it has always been but now is undeniably proven to be and stated in black and white right here in this post. In other words, I said it, I did it all by myself, and it is so. Thanks me!

As the universal leader in superiority, you can expect that we will be promoting said superiority in the most superior manner we can devise. We will continue to be the best at being better than everyone else. Even if others are better than us at something, no one will be better at nothing than us. We will remain the most superior at everything we do, which is nothing, and we have no competition in this arena.

Once again, I thank myself.