Goals Suck.

I know a lot of people in the business world make a big friggin' deal about setting goals. The truth is, goals will only get you so far. They might win the soccer game, but they are, like, totally overrated in business.

Sure, companies and entrepenuers generally swear by the damn things, from the mildly successful to the wildly filthy stinkin' rich. And sure, those who fail to set goals and make plans are usually those who find themselves flipping burgers and wishing they hadn't used that line of funding for a yacht and plastic surgery. Coincidence? Yes. I have a point and I will eventually get to it. First though, I will ramble on for a few sentences.

I've always tried to instill a sense of purpose into the corporate culture here at Crock. (cough, choke, vomit) I can't even continue that line of BS. Let's try this:

A man wakes up to find himself in the middle of the desert. All he can see is sand to the horizon in all directions. And then he died.

Or.....maybe he decided that he wanted to get out of the current situation. But how? He had very little choice. He picked a direction and started walking. As he walked, the terrain slowly started to change. The sand became dotted here and there with cacti and scrub brush(not the kind you use to clean the toilet but the gnarled looking bushy things usually found in western movies). He continued to walk. Eventually, the desert gave way to grassy plains, then rolling hills and scattered trees, a stream with fresh clean water, a forest, and finally an all-inclusive beach resort with scantily-clad women who served him cocktails and assorted seafood delicacies happily ever after. The end.

How does this story apply to you? It doesn't. But here's how it applies to me:

See, the guy in the story took himself from a dried up pile of bones in the middle of the desert to a very happy man, and he did it with no clear goal, no advice from experts, and no multi-phase plan of action. He could have easily set some lame goal of "find water", or "get rescued", but he didn't. He set in motion a one-step plan: go "that way". You could argue that he had a goal but you would lose the argument. He just set his sights on the horizon and walked. The horizon is not a goal or a destination because as you move towards it, it moves away. No one has ever gone to the horizon where they built a house, raised a family, purchased groceries online, and formed a grammy-winning rap/metal quartet. That never happened and never will. The man in the story set his sights on something unattainable and wound up with something much better. I'll take the women serving me stuff on the beach every time if my other choice is "the horizon". I don't care if you throw in a "find water" an two "get rescued"s. (the choice might get tougher if you offered up a basket of bacon).

And....The point! Don't set goals. If you do, you will settle for meeting them. Pick a direction and go "that way". It'll take you places you never dreamed.

I have no need for investors in business, or a boss, but you do. They love it when they ask you for a business plan and you tell them "we are aiming for the horizon". A sure promotion will follow when your boss asks you where you are headed and you say in bold confidence (using your best cartoon superhero voice without regard for your boss' age or gender), "Step aside old woman! I'm going that way!"

Of course I realize that some of you will feel naked without goals so here are a few that would be acceptable:

- capture a unicorn
- find a word that rhymes with purple
- become Spiderman
- successfully and correctly complete your own tax return
- lead a horse to water and make his ungrateful ass drink it

You get it by now I hope. But before taking advice from me, keep in mind that I sometimes leave the house with less than a full set of shoes and I drink early and often.

Oh! And for the record, as far as I'm concerned the basket of bacon would win every time. It's much more attainable. In fact, here comes one now! Gotta go!