Once they changed the name of "Global Warming" to "Climate Change" we knew it was a crock. Now, since we have been proven correct, we thought it was time to make this thing one of ours. We purchased it. That's right, Crock, Inc. now owns Global Climate Change.
Is it too hot where you live? Not to worry, we'll be there to scoop up some of your hot and transport it too somewhere cold using nothing but sweet-talk and happy thoughts. Then, you guessed it, we move the cold over to the hot by wishing upon a star(I have yet to hear a good explanation as to what happens after we remove the hot but before we replace it with cold. It's probably something like Nebraska). Got unwanted rain? There are other places that could use it. Our specialized scientists and can "magic" the atmosphere by singing "Rain Rain Go Away". Yes they can actually change the climate around the globe.
I know what you're thinking; "Bullshit!"
But wait, the bullshit is you! See, you've already forgotten that we are the most superior. There are a few things you never do: Don't flip off a police officer, don't eat a fat man's last cupcake, and never call bullshit on Crock, Inc. Speaking of bullshit, did I mention that cow farts (and Energy Ninjas) were included in the purchase. Yessir indeed. Apparently they help the climate with it's new and improved changin' action.
Google this and see what you get; "global warming crock". Yeah. It's gotten some press. That's why we've decided that it will now be known as " Global Climate Change, L.L.C., a wholly-owned subsidiary of Crock, Inc.".
Call me on Monday. We'll do lunch. Bullshit.
No comments:
Post a Comment