We are pleased to announce today that our own Mrs. Angela Snook has been issued a new stapler. Angela has requested a new stapler forty-six times over her five-year stint as Assistant Binder of Multi-page Documents. As ABMD, Angela is responsible for stapling report pages together, specifically those reports between two and twelve pages in length. By definition, her role requires a decent stapler even though the pages she staples will be separated again when they reach the desk of the Assistant Report Separator (who suddenly thinks she needs a new staple remover).
Mrs. Snook says she is proud to finally have adequate equipment that will allow her to be more efficient and grow in her career. We regret that it has taken so long to make this possible. Apparently we don't place much emphasis on fulfilling requests from lower level employees.
We certainly believe Angela is deserving of the new stapler. To be accurate though, it isn't exactly new. It has been in storage for over seven years and before that it was used as the community stapler for the Marketing department (actually, they probably didn't use it - they don't do anything that requires touching things).
We also share Angela's belief that she will become more efficient. The Swingline model 1725 is a fine piece of equipment. It's easyload chamber makes refilling a snap, and, it is rated for up to 25 pages. Her old stapler was only rated for ten pages. This made stapling those eleven and twelve page reports very difficult. Once she completes the required three-day operational and safety training course, she'll be clicking away with ease. She'll also find the 1725 to be ergonomically pleasing. It even has the ability to be stood on end, taking up less of her valuable empty desk space.
Please join us in congratulating Angela on her great achievement. We wish her all the success that she desires.
2 comments:
Oh thank you! Thank you so much. Such an honor. I'm soooooo excited. This is going to make my job so much easier. I must confess that I've had to cheat the system a bit over the years. If I get a 12-pager I sometimes break it down into a 7 and a 5 or a 6 and 6 and then.....please forgive me....I paperclip the two groups together. There! I said it! I know paperclipping is a different department but I really had no recourse since the old stapler posed a safety hazard when binding more than 10 pages.
Oh, Angela, you are such a figment of SOMEONE'S imagination but I'm glad you're happy and excited!
Post a Comment