Corn Oil Wrestling and the Cheese Canopy Mandate

To all Non-existent Crock, Inc. Competitors:

So you think you have a superior product? Impossible. A better and cheaper alternative to one of our products? Never......but let's just play a little pretend game of fake economic cause-and-effect. Do you have any legos? No matter. We'll use words instead.


Let's take, for example, our long-time best-selling product the "No-walled Wonder Tent". It's like a tent, but it has no walls. We've sold dozens. Now let's say that you, Mr. Non-existent Competitor, Inc., come up with something that does the same thing but it's made from different materials like hemp or cheese (Warning: patent infringment will get you wacked). You call your copy-cat rip-off product idea a "Canopy" and you sell it for around the same price as our "No-Walled Wonder Tent". Let's also say that you successfully lobby the government to make it mandatory that 10% of our customers buy your product instead of ours. Here's what will happen: You will lose, cry, and be emotionally damaged forever.


As soon as the government-mandated-ten-percent-canopy-purchasing-bill passes through congress, we will immediately begin a "Canopy Destructo Maneuver". We will incrementally increase the price of our "NWWT" so that the 90% of people who can still buy it will pay the price for your fool-heartedishness. We'll be sure to publicly blame you for the price increase. NWWT buyers will hate you and wish plagues of locusts upon your lower half.

The example above is a more or less what has happened recently in the oil game. The President of OPEC says the the introduction of ethanol to the market is responsible for 40% of the rise in the cost of crude oil. Poppycock?

We know that ethanol is no savior, but it's not responsible for raising the price of oil by 40 percent. That's a bunch of junk. TRICKS! Competition does not cause price hikes. The dynamics of supply/demand ultimately determine the price of everything. It's not just a good idea, it's the law. Ethanol decreases demand for crude oil.

I love to over-simplfy. Thanks for allowing me to do what I love.

Get your Wonder Tents Now while you can still afford them!!