Armageddon Hawk Sighting Spells Trouble

This harbinger of the apocalypse has been sighted flitting from tree to tree in neighborhoods like yours. Most recently, Fern Mckinney of Traverse City, Michigan reported seeing this creature on her fence. She somehow had the presence of mind to snap a quick photograph, knowing all the while that her subject was here to end civilization. When asked how she felt at that moment, Fern told us; "At first I wasn't sure if I was seeing what I thought I saw. I took a closer look and realized...yeah....that's the yellow finch."

She added, "A strange calm came over me when I realized that everyone is going to die, not just me. After that I was able to view it as a great photo opportunity."

The yellow finch, more commonly known as the Armageddon Hawk, is said to visit human civilization only to end it. The hideous and terrifying creature ushers in the End of Days, this according to most ancient scholars whose civilizations have already been destroyed, presumably by the yellow finch. These teachings of old provide us with a warning, to be vigilant and watchful lest we are complacent and unwary of it's presence among us and have not prepared for our final days.

What can you do about it? Not much. Just be wary. Perhaps build large and intricate stone structures that will impress future civilizations? Or maybe now is the time to get aggressive with your 401K?