Greatness Explained: Top Five Facebook Posts That No One Likes

I'm thinking maybe some people just don't get it (by "it", I mean "us").  The team here at Crock has generated some important, meaningful, and thought-provoking material in the form of our facebook status updates but our many many tens of followers couldn't seem to give a proverbial rats ass.  Let's run through some and see if there is a reason for your piss-poor behavior and lack of respect for some of the greatest facebookery in existence, or if you just can't pay attention to anything that happens before noon.


April 24th, 2012:
Clear some space in the copy room. Your new all-in-one printer/copier/scanner/fax is on the way.

You see, this one is clearly a joke.  The massive object in the picture is not an office machine at all but rather an antique toaster-oven like grandma used to use.  It is too! 

 
April 12th, 2012:
It'd be pretty cool to have an exoskeleton. Yeah right! Like that'll ever happen.



This one is just an observation.  A very true one at that.  Who wouldn't want an exoskeleton?  An unimaginative sack of boring, that's who!  Someone should invent some kind of hard, possibly metallic, suit that a person could wear that would protect them in the event that they accidentally get into a sword fight or worse, a jousting match.  But, as the last half of the post suggests, we're doubtful that we will see such technology, at least not in our lifetime.

March 13th, 2012:
According to the accounting department our greatest company asset is our boobs.



Simply stating a fact.  And it's worthy of a least one "like".  I know that Phil Teatherballs likes anything having to do with boobs.  Where are you Phil?

April 29th, 2012:
If you rode a woolly mammoth to work you would only have to leave home about 3,712 years early, depending on traffic.

Who would do that?  Who would actually ride a woolly mammoth to work?  Ha ha.  That's freakin' funny to think about.  But wait, why would it take so long to get there if you did ride one to work?  Is it because they are slow?  Yes.  They're slow.  That's it.  No.  IT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!  You would have had to saddle up and start riding in somewhere around 1700 B.C. because that's when they were last know to exist.

May 4th, 2012:
ATTACK!

This one would seem to be self-explanatory.  When the command is given, you do it.  Plain and simple.  So unless all of you did so and were were subsequently defeated, someone should have returned to facebook to like the post.  That's today's digital version of spiking the ball.  To the victor go the spoils and the online gloating rights.  If you did not obey the command, there is still time.  Go forth and attack as commanded.
 
The above are just some examples of the powerful material that is being generated on the Crock Inc. facebook page.  I'm sure the fact that no one "likes" these posts is some sort of error.  Facebook is probably blocking likes for fear the snowball effect would distract from something else truly meaningful (they want us to buy an ad).  If not, and no one actually likes these posts, then fine.  We don't need anyone to proclaim their greatness.  Greatness does not need to be explained.  Then what is the purpose of this blog post?  Well, this particular greatness maybe needed a tiny bit of explaining.