I told you in an earlier post about a shake-up coming in the marketing department. I thought I'd share it with you now.
Larry, our Director of Marketing accidentally copied me in on his email to the "third-tier subordinate nobodies with the word manager in their title" (as I like to call them). Right now he has no idea that he made this mistake. I'm publishing it here so you will know exactly why you don't see Larry at the team meeting in the morning. This has done him in (along with not thinking of the moon as an ad medium).
10:00-ish Kick-off
- Get Coffee
- Get Bagel
- Drink Coffee and Eat Bagel
- Get more Coffee
- Check MySpace for new Bulletins
10:30 Goals for the Meeting
- Make sure the "big wigs" think we're busy and understaffed
- Figure out how to "expense" Guitar hero for the breakroom
- Decide where to go for Lunch
- Decide where to go for Happy Hour
11:00 Productivity (Ways to make the big wigs think we're under staffed)
1) Read Crock, Inc. with a very concerned and contemplative look on your face
2) Make sure your desks are messy
3) Call your fellow team-members (that's two people on the phone, and two lines busied out)
4) Sweat a lot.
5) Tell the big wigs "We're under staffed"
11:15 Recreation (How do we expense "Guitar Hero"?)
Plan A- Have Javier Sweet-talk Janet into giving us the key to Petty cash
Plan B- See if the guy at Game Stop will give us a receipt for paperclips instead
11:20 Break
- Get more Coffee
- Beam each other ringtones
- Smoke 'em if ya got 'em
11:59 Desicion Time (Where do we go to lunch?)
- The Lounge, seems the only logical choice
12:00 Lunch at The Lounge
- Finish meeting at lunch by deciding to remain at The Lounge for Happy Hour.
Next Meeting - Tomorrow @ 10:00-ish
3 comments:
I wholly support this new hard-line approach to our bolster our long term corporate sustainability. We’re gonna put the fun back in (employment) funeral. I personally look forward to rooting out the waste mongers of the insane lux-a-lot posse and hope they enjoy their ride down to the unemployment office. Or as I like to call it, the gravy train for gonad goats. Besides, everyone knows that the best deal on Guitar Hero is from Best Buy. Do they really think that Crock’s corporate savvy was procured through frivolous spending habits? Likely not.
Crap! I either missed this meeting or am just running late, has it wrapped up yet? I was on my way to the meeting when the phone rang and it was the president of ACME enterprises, I couldn't just let him go so I resolved his issues with the defective doomoflockies by convincing him that these were actually an upgrade, but to make these work properly he also needed to purchase the thigamajig accessories to go with them. He is happy now, and so am I for that matter.
Lastly, let me say in my defense, I have never been late to any cancelled or unscheduled meetings, please accept my appologies.
Oh yeah, and what she and he said, "I approve".
I have never approved a cancelled meeting lately.
I also have recently cancelled the former "soft-line" approach and become more in tune with the fact that there are very few words with double v's in them. Savvy is one.
Like it.
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